Rock
Scissors
Fuck
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
