I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
PANTIES FOUND
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