come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
