I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
