Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
