She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
