so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
