I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't deserve a penis
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
