How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
