Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize