Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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