I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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