so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
