We won't sleep together?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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