READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
