I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
