She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
