Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
