Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm going to jail i love you
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
