Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Blow job season was short but glorious.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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