Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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