If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
