So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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