just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
