I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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