Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
