I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
