He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
