I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
