So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
