I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
