NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
