Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I AM VODKA MAN
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
