Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
