Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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