I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So here I am, sexting at work.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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