Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
