he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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