So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
