I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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