Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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