I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
