we have officially lost it.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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