Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
