hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
