that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
