dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
