ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize