I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
