No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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