she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
