So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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