Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
