i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
