It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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