It's Friday. Sex?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
