Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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