Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
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