Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
