I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
