No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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