Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
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This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
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Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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