So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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