I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
