Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
