my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
